The Power of Silence

Talk talk talk. I LOVE to talk but have learned the importance of silence, so I can listen better and really connect. Our world is getting more and more full, and stress is increasing by the minute. There is little space to be alone and quiet, and when there is we fill even those moments with scrolling and to-do lists and calendars. This week we talk about how to find little spaces for silence and the benefits of quiet connection in our relationships. 

The Power of Silence

Who can relate to this scenario; being a child and your parents trying to constantly talk to you, but you don't feel like it? You don't feel like sharing or opening up. You roll your eyes and respond with minimal detail. And yet we do the SAME thing that annoyed us to our own kids. WHY?!

Let's play this one out: 

           Parent:  "How was school today?" 

          Child: "Fine."

          Parent: "What did you learn/do?" 

          Child: "I don't know." 

          Parent: "You don't know?" 

         Child: "I don't remember.", this continues for 10 more minutes.

You get the picture. This could spiral into less connection or even an argument. We TRY to connect by talking, but sometimes it has the opposite effect.

How about this scenario; watching a sunrise or sunset with someone in complete silence? There are no words to say, no phones to scroll through, just soaking in the beauty. How did you feel afterward? Calm, relaxed, content, happy...more connected? 

A silent connection is helpful.  It has a way of exposing so much when we make space for it. Watching the sunrise is one example of how silence nurtures connection, but when we pay closer attention there are more opportunities to be more quiet every day.

We have so many opportunities for quiet when we notice, but we condition ourselves to be productive or distracted at every opportunity. This limits our resilience and connection, with ourselves, with one another, and with the world around us. 

This week's practice is simple but may feel awkward at first. I want you to notice opportunities for quiet connection. Some examples that we often fill with space might be; 

• Waiting for someone to meet you at a restaurant (phone scrolling?)
• Driving in the car (forced small talk?)
• Waiting for an appointment (more phone scrolling?)
• Alone time with someone (forcing connection through conversation?)

Notice your urge in that moment of silence? When you notice the urge, try to resist it and see what happens when you simply sit in silence for a few moments. There are countless benefits of being quiet. Here are a few:

• More connected relationships
• Children will open up more when they feel ready and not forced
• We build self-awareness and resilience because we notice more.
• This is a mindfulness practice, simply noticing your urge to distract, and choosing to connect with yourself or another in silence instead. 

This week, notice the urge to fill quiet space and practice sitting in silence. See what happens, how you feel, and what you learn.