Grief & Trauma
Grief and trauma are two of the most intense emotions we experience, as humans. The emotions are so hard to touch because they ache our whole being. It’s hard for me to find the words to express this type of pain, but I wanted to share something with my community this week as we start to process and heal. When we grieve together, we find some relief. Knowing that we are not alone in our suffering helps us meet our fundamental need for connection, with each other and with our emotions (social-emotional health). This is a time to express our most vulnerable selves and lean into the pain, together. This week I share a few compassion practices that help me touch my pain and anger, even when it feels impossible. And share insights for how to support our children.
Grief and Trauma
First, I want to acknowledge the flood of emotions that come with a traumatic event. We all experience trauma differently. Anger, fear, shock, sadness, overwhelm, and numbness, to name a few. The thing about human emotion is that there is no right or wrong way to feel. All of it is healthy and important for us to pay attention to and nurture.
My son asked me last night about the shooter. Did he have parents or people who loved him? We haven’t heard much about this, but this insight brought me to the core of what I hope to bring to children everywhere. A sense of love and belonging. A strong connection to their inner goodness.
Then he expressed to me that he felt most sad for the families, but he also felt sad for the shooter. When I asked him why, he explained that he didn’t have the help he needed and so he did a really scary and awful thing, and now he is hiding.
This insight was astonishing and moved me from intense anger and disbelief to the reality of a failed system. Failure to keep people safe from guns. Failure to provide people with the support they need. Failure to nurture all children from day 1, so they feel the goodness radiate from within them. Failure to protect our children from PREVENTABLE trauma like this one. Failure to save lives.
The most important practices I have to support myself and my kids in processing trauma like this one are here for you this week. If you aren’t ready to go there yet, that’s okay. These are here for you anytime. I am here for you anytime.
- Compass - Compassionate Presence and Inquiry Practice
- Heart Connection - Guided Audio Track ages 6+
- Journal, Draw, Reflect - get it out on paper to decompress and remember, there is no right or wrong way to feel. Express whatever it is to avoid suppression.