Photo of a child buttoning their shirt. Text reads, “Self-Efficacy. June 27, 2021.”

Self Efficacy

Self-efficacy is a personal judgment of how well or poorly a person can cope with a given situation.  Self-efficacy is a primary pillar of resilience. 


At Work: Think about your life as an adult. In your job and/or at home, you want to feel skilled and trusted that you do your job well, without judgment (this includes SELF-judgment).


With Children: Now think of parenting or teaching. We so often get caught up in trying to teach our children the "right" way, help them become "good" people, and ultimately control their behaviors. We all do this, to some extent. What it actually teaches our children is to self abandon their way of thinking and being, and to conform.


Children are capable of more than we give them credit for, we just need to give each of them the time and space to evolve. We want to cultivate a deep inner sense that WE ARE GOOD (because we all are) even when we aren't perfect.


But how? We need to break generational patterns of power and control. This can feel very triggering, as parents. And I truly believe this is the way we begin to relieve the epidemic of anxiety and depression our society faces today.  


Let's start by welcoming mistakes.



This week's practice:

  • Notice when you make mistakes.

    • Do you feel guilt? 
    • Are you hard on yourself? 
  • When you notice, try to be forgiving and remember that all humans make mistakes.
  • When you are able, celebrate your mistakes (especially in front of your kids)! 


In the classroom:

  • Notice if there is too much emphasis on perfection or doing something the "right way".
  • If you have students who express different ideas, encourage them to explore that idea, and also show them how you were taught.
  • Use mistakes (even your own) to normalize this part of being a human. We all make mistakes, no big deal!


At home: 

  • Notice if there is too much emphasis on perfection or doing something the "right way".
  • When you notice and feel triggered by a lack of control, take a few moments to self-regulate. JUST BREATHE.
  • Practice patience. Are you truly in a rush? If you are, make eye contact and offer help, with kindness.

Note: If you are a perfection seeker (me, me!), try this:

  • When you make a mistake, point it out to your child. Laugh about it, shrug it off, and humanize mistakes.

SEL for Schools

Nurture compassion and resilience in your school community with our easy-to-use SEL curriculum that has a real impact.

School Packages

Educator Resources

Join our Educator Community to build SEL skills and resilience personally, and access simple activities and tools for classroom resilience.

Get Resources

Family Programs

This self-paced course offers short videos and simple materials to help your whole family feel more connected and resilient.

Take a Course


Sign up for our Weekly Resilience Tips