Meditation for Moms
This week we feature a guest author and mom, Dr. Allyson Coffin. Hopefully during your read today you will learn how to feel more connected to your family, prioritize self-care daily and learn how to pass along your emotional regulation to your kids! To do that I will discuss first how to calm our minds and nervous systems quickly and efficiently and second how that helps our kids with emotional regulation and SEL.
Meditation for Moms
Imagine a time when you are overwhelmed, you have worked all day or were home all day, the kids are throwing things in the house, no one wants to go to bed and the kitchen is dirty…..you are stressed, right?!
Now, imagine the same scene;
- You were busy all day (you took breaks and breaths)
- Kids are throwing things (you got down on their level to re-direct, had the capacity to do this, and diffused the situation)
- No one wants to go to bed (you enjoy the extra time this day you get to spend with your kids and meet them with curiosity and show them your strategies to help them settle down)
- Dirty kitchen (you have delegated this task to a capable human in your house, or have come to terms that it will get done at a different time without it gnawing at you)
This all sounds like a dream….at least to the moms I coached within Happiermoms before they started! They do these things, they are calm in the storm and it isn't hard….it is easier because they take care of themselves first.
My top tip in feeling more connected with the people you care about (not everyone) is to be with them….be in their space without anything else, no phone, no TV, play if your kids are little or big, listen to their story about Spiderman, or the kid that was not nice at school or about anything they are sharing. Studies show that 9 mins a day is all kids need for undivided attention to feel connected….can you do that?
Prioritize your self-care….how to do this?! My top tip for this is to schedule it. No, it isn't romantic to do this and you may not be sitting by a waterfall in linen while meditating, but you can get the same benefits in your jammies on your living room couch…I swear, I have been doing the latter for over 15 years and it is GOLD!
How to pass on emotional regulation to your kids? Model it! That is the thing. We, as moms, think that we need to do all the things and sometimes one of those things is to step back from our families and responsibilities to take care of ourselves. You cannot pour from an empty cup….fill yourself with what makes you happy. If you don't know what that is, I suggest setting a 10 min timer and writing out all the things that make you happy. Pick 1 for each day, pick a big one for each year.
It is good to be good to yourself, even when you feel like you have NO time to do that.
Now, this is the TRICK….we all know we need self-care….but how can we get it done?
Fold it into your day…..we all brush our teeth every day (hopefully) and we all can take a couple of minutes to try meditating.
Meditating can be done in just a couple of minutes.
Do just that, take the time to sit for a moment, breathe, and feel your belly rise and fall.
Listen to whatever sounds are coming up, the kids chatting, or the tea boiling, or absolutely nothing.
Set a timer to start, 2 minutes, every day….even if it is directly after your alarm in the morning.
When we start to make something routine; just like we do brushing our teeth, flossing, sleeping, reading to our kids, eating food every day. It becomes something you need to thrive.
Look at the data… feel your body, and your environment, and think if you want to continue this ritual.
Remember, the peace and calm you create today to create a generation of peaceful people.
This week, try to make time to meditate every day for 7 days in a row. Write down how you feel before you start on your first day and how you feel on day 7. You are modeling social and emotional skills for your kids here!